- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
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- A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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- God must love stupid people, he made so many.
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- Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
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- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
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- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
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- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
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- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
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- I asked my girlfriend if she'd love me when I was old and useless... She said "Of
course I do"
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- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
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- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
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- The shortest sentence is "I Am". The longest sentence is "I Do"
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- The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
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- I'm unemployed due to an eyesight problem. I can't see myself doing any work.
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| The more people I meet, the more I like my cat. |
